About 15 years ago, when I was beginning my journey of self-understanding, I noticed that every time I had a major difficulty in my life (or business), it resulted not from the initial problem, but how I reacted to and dealt with it.
I also learned to accept that life was not about having good things happen to you all the time (no one does) but rather, just like poker, we are continuously dealt good cards and bad cards. And in the same way that a good poker player is someone who can make a good hand out of a bad set of cards (and often wins), the person who lives a ‘successful’ life is someone who makes good out of bad.
Recognising the victim
I reflected on the times when I had complained about my cards in a mode of blame or ‘woe is me’ and how I had become stuck and nothing productive ever resulted. On the other hand, I recalled that EVERY time I had turned and faced the issue, like magic, it was resolved or moved on and was much less of a problem than I originally imagined.
It was later when listening to Steve Chandler’s audiobook ‘The 17 Lies that We Tell Ourselves’ that I first heard reference to the concepts of Victim and Owner. I realised that I had played the victim in those unproductive situations and I had been an owner when I had taken others on and faced them.
Over the past few years, since I became aware of these concepts, I have noticed that successful people are those who choose ownership and action, almost every time, when faced with adversity. I have also seen it in the results that I have been achieving for myself. Apparently it’s one of those things that seems to work only 100% of the time!
So if you are looking for strength or guidance in dealing with a current problem, don’t just take my advice on it. Instead, take a little time and reflect on how you have handled problems in the past – I am sure that, like me, in some situations you played the victim whilst in others you took full ownership. And no doubt you got similar results to me in the respective scenarios.
With this evidence and insight you will know exactly what you need to do to deal with your current issue and armed with this awareness, just notice how your life (and business) begins to change for the better.
Photo by bruce mars on Unsplash